yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
Randomize
