We named our party play list daddy issues
Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
I made him laugh his dick is mine
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
Randomize
