I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize
