Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
Omg just woke up. 6am. random apartment. broad daylight. bunch of ppl doin coke around me. Theres a bridge nearby. I think my dentist is down the block. Oof.
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
He stopped his car in the middle of ongoing traffic to ask me to marry him. Then he got pulled over. Yeah I'd say the slutty Dallas Cowboys costume was a success.
Your hotness may or may not have landed him in jail.
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
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