yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
i can't believe you were mixing vodka with green tea last night and enjoying it.
i should bottle and sell it. my slogan could be "green tea vodka. antioxidating while intoxiacting. your liver will thank you. "
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
Randomize
