what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
Decided to write a book called "girls don't poop and other myths I wish I still believed in"
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
Tom just texted me he's Tindering from his hospital bed while they're running heart tests on him.
That's dedication to the game.
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
I was taking a nap and she comes in wo/ pants, gets up on the bed and mounts my face while watching Weeds on Netflix. I'm okay with it, but at least let me wake up first.
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
Randomize
