I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
I woke up with a russian doll attached to my necklace and a post-it note with "keep babushka safe" written on it. Fuck vodka
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
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