I'm single ladies-ing it in my kitchen alone. after I just made an intense new breakup cd and before I drown my sorrows by marinating alone in my jacuzzi later. I cant tell if this is a new low or a new high
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
Randomize
