I want to see you every morning in the kitchen ass naykid on roller blades making pancakes.
Stop sending me these texts. This is your mom, not your girlfriend.
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
Police were closing down the bar due to gunfight and I was crying because they wouldn't let me finish putting temporary shamrock tats on my boobs
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
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