i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
Don't put random dicks in your mouth or any other crevice for that matter... and i'm home in 30 seconds
Wish I got that text last night instead of this morning.
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
Randomize
