my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
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