you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
I'm in a subway station watching a tranny do her makeup. This is like watching a unicorn giving birth.
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
Randomize
