Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
Randomize
