dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
You sent me a picture of curly fries with no explanation attached. This is the first time you've texted me in 2 months.
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
The difference in our lives is summed up perfectly in that you woke up next to a 6'4" guy with an accent and I woke up next to an unwrapped piece of string cheese.
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
You know that text I sent you last night at 2? That was 5 minutes before I ran face first into a wall of not okay
Randomize
