I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
They have beer where we have blood.
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
Randomize
