Whod you bang
I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
Randomize
