Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
omg he fucking fingered me this morning. and i was just like this is the most awkward alarm clock ive ever had
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
Drake has all the answers
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