These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
So... my daughter's new girlfriend Is the daughter of the girl I dated on and off in college Who ran away because she got pregnant at my house party. My Legitimate daughter Is probably fucking my Illegitimate daughter...
Randomize
