new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
I tried to walk home in my heels. And I fell into a snow bank. And then I cried and a policeman came up to me and said I can't sit in a snowbank and got me a cab. So maybe that's where I left my credit card. I remember the cop asking me if I was old enough to drink, too. OMG. How embarrassing. Pretty sure I told him to "leave me alone."
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
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