just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
Of course he got arrested. He was wearing a toga. Even Tom Hanks couldn't act sober in a toga.
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
I now have a bottom rung on my kissing scale. Like I can say "Well. On a scale of Matt to Braxton he was probably a Zach." It's the little things.
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
Randomize
