This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
Made out with some random "plus sized" young lady. She let me kiss her boobies. It was like I was 6 months old again.
Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
sex in a hospital.. check
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
I left you a really long drunk voicemail and I remember something about a bat
Randomize
