Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
I just got really nervous and swallowed all of my birth control
Just so you know, each of my boobs fits perfectly in a martini glass.
At chipotle, there's a bachelorette party starting out the night here, i'm going to let you imagine what the bride to be looks like
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
At the ER. John needs stiches. Fuck pub trivia nights.
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
Randomize
