Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
Randomize
