if you wake up with plaid pants on your floor in the morning, you made a bad decision.
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
Hi I am too sober and out of rum. Translation: I owe you some beer. Also, get better taste in beer.
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
She just left someone a voicemail saying 'you better not have plans Saturday night, cause I'm going to sit on your face.'
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
I can't trust your balls anymore.
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
Randomize
