when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
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