he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
oh god was she eating orange peels again
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
I would fuck him just for his dog
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
Randomize
