As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
Last night I got drunk on margaritas at an Irish pub and came home with only one shoe. I have to get my shit together.
You really know how to show Monday who's boss.
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
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