had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
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