Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
Seriously, come get him. He's not even a person anymore. He's a loud, drunk, cock-blocking wrecking ball.
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
I knew how high you were when you put a french fry in your mouth and said 'fuck, this tastes like meat but feels blue.'
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
Randomize
