I would never have sex with Danny Devito!! JSYK.
Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
I woke up this morning and I couldn't find my coffeetable. wtf?
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
According to the office gossip the new secretary is “a homewrecking whore”. Think I should spend $27 on a fake wedding ring?
Yes! Want that picture of you and my nephew?
Randomize
