i jhust puked up my retainher.
He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
Dude. Where are you? I'm making waffles in the waffle iron. It's beautiful.
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
Randomize
