I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
It's 11:50 on Friday the 13th. There's a full moon. AND the bride to be just puked on herself while getting a lap dance from a stripper named...wait for it....LUCKY. Is this real life?
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
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