The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
i actually just woke up with a lampshade on my head. god damn cliches.
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
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