It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
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