none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
Randomize
