stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
Hold on. She's wrapped herself in toilet paper and is scaring the dog.
Too many margaritas?
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
I just matched the dude who's car I rear ended 2 years ago on tinder. I don't think he remembers.
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
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