Please, let me fuck your mom
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
I looked at you and you stared at me dead in the eyes then sprayed febreze at your crotch and winked.
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
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