sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
So the woman who sold us weed at the park is pregnant. With another small child. And the basket she used to carry the joints is decorated with Barney stickers.
She's like a yuppie Nancy Botwin. She just gets better and better.
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
Randomize
