dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
We just followed a woman home because she looked like Jeff Goldblum. Turns out she lives in a trailer park.
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
Randomize
