We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
I woke up this morning with a pop tart under my pillow with one bite eaten. Another pop tart was in the floor. No recollection whatsoever. I ate the one under my pillow for breakfast, though.
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
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