Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
Ah, the precious few moments between when i wake up and when i realize why i'm sleeping on a treadmill.
He drunk dialed T-Mobile at 3am and talked to them for 45 minutes and got his phone bill lowered from $80 to $60... Best drunk dial ever.
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
Fastest way to get judgmental looks on a Sunday morning: wear sunglasses inside carrying a case of beer and thin mints at the grocery store. May or may not have ran into the glass door.
Gotta love Minnesota
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
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