i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
Yeah apparently i got lonely because everyone was hooking up so i took matters into my own hands. I woke up on the floor spooning a vaccuum cleaner, a mop, 40 paper cups, and industrial grade detergent.
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
There must be a happy medium universe where you get it on with my girlfriend enough to cause me pain but not a full on cardiac arrest. It's a fine line to tread though.
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
I just found a bag of chex mix in my clutch
You were feeding it to the bartender last night
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