He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
Randomize
