chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
I got eye-fucked by an 80 year old man wearing a cowboy hat while I was singing country. How do you think karaoke went?
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize
