this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
They get 5 minutes to wear their speedos at the wedding
Oh my god I'll have to be really drunk for that
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
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