I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
This baby is an asshole
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
