I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
I seriously can't date anymore I forgot how to hide my crazy
Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
Just found my car keys in your throw-up.
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
We have so much sex to catch up on
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
I finally got my restraining order in the mail. Was that supposed to upset me? I'm just over here like "TELLEM BOY BYE!-\nlegally..."
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
Randomize
