I was in the bathroom and heard my brother scream "YOU FAIL!!!", and I swear to GOD, I thought my penis was yelling at me.
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
So, the officer that worked my wreck, I'm rockin his world tonight. He saw me high on morphine in the ER. So he knows my level of crazy. Think he'll agree to wear his gun?
So many things can go wrong tonight.
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
Randomize
