We got so high we made milksteak
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
Randomize
