I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
Why would you fall asleep? This is why i cant drink with my lesbian friends anymore. They take my clothes off and get vodka in my top ramen. Only yoouuu can prevent forest fires.
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
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